It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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