this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
