you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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