New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
