I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
