we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
