The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
