The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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