Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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