You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
