I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We left the knife in your bed.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize