Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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