I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
