Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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