Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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