last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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