how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
