The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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