Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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