Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
love makes seman taste better
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
