Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
