i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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