We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
