SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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