I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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