Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
