Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We got so high we made milksteak
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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