You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
