Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
