Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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