Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
