you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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