she was so not down for the gang bang
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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