Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
