no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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