OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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