Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
