I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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