Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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