he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
