you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
