the day after is always just damage control
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
