I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
