If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
