hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
