your parents love me but you hate me
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize