I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
