i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize