just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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