who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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