dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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