I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
