I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
