I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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