Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
