Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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