My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
