"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
