ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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