the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just had sex on a roof
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
