I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
