the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
