afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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