i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
