We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
