Is it normal to miss your booty call?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
