She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
